Driving home I talk to myself about how tomorrow will be different…
But I quickly realize, last night was the same conversation…
Why is it so easy to be brave the night before the big day, but when the morning shows up, I’m right back to all the insecurity and the “fear of failing” that can completely handcuff my life?
I’ve read books that say we only use on average, 10% of our brains. Which to me, means that there’s a lot of room up there for me to mess myself up.
I don’t know about you, but I have monsters in my head.
There are a few good ones, but a lot of bad ones. And they fight for my attention daily.
At times, it feels like they are riding a roller coaster in my mind.
Up and down, up and down, up and down.
I can do this…no I can’t. You got this, Kyle. I’m the worst. My breakthrough is coming. Am I really as good as I think I am?
I don’t know about you…but this is me every single day.
I think we’ve done ourselves a disservice because we’ve created a society where it’s bad to talk about your struggle.
We are shunned for being authentic. We are guilt tripped into being a certain way. And we feel the need to jump through hoops to impress those we hope to work with.
We also let insecurity creep in for all different reasons…
I’m not smart enough.
I’m not skinny enough.
I’m not young enough.
I’m not experienced enough.
I’m not ________ (fill it in with what you are).
But sadly, it gets worse…
We not only struggle internally, but we blame everyone else.
The world is out to get us. My parents messed me up. “They” just don’t get it.
It’s really hard to get better when the only way to get better is for everyone else to change.
If we aren’t careful, we will sit around and think…
If they were different, it would have worked. If they understood me, this would be different. They just don’t understand…
Here’s what I’m learning for me…the only thing I control is ME!
My life gets better when I get better. Plain and simple.
Because in the same way we let these monsters work against us…we can also use them to work for us!
So how does this happen for us?
#1 - Control Your Worry Monster.
Think about how often the things you worry about actually come true? I’m going to guess rarely.
Ask yourself this question…can I control what I’m worried about?
If the answer is yes…get to work! That is the fastest way to minimize the worry.
If the answer is no…do your best to let it go. It’s not your burden to bare.
Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”
Isn’t it funny (not really, sad actually) that we will take bits and pieces of the Bible that we like and only choose to apply those things to our lives? We love some parts, but then there’s others that we just don’t think are for us…
But look at what scripture says…don’t worry about ANYTHING. What does anything mean? Anything! Ha.
We put ourselves through so much grief over things that will never even happen.
The verse later says…and pray about EVERYTHING.
You see, we live in this mindset that prayer is always about begging God to do something…but often times, prayer is about aligning our hearts with His. It is the act of prayer that provides us peace.
Which means, when we do our best to STOP worrying and START praying worry begins to minimize in our lives.
#2 - Put Good Moment Monster To Work.
Every time I speak, I feel inadequate. Every single time. I’m nervous about messing up. I’m nervous about if what I say will help. I’m nervous that they won’t like me.
But then something always happens, I force myself to remember that last good thing someone said to me.
I’ve been told…
“That was exactly what I needed.”
“You are hilarious.”
“You’ve inspired me, I’m starting today.”
“You should have been on that stage.”
“I can’t wait to say I knew you when…”
It is these moments that I use in my worry to help it go away. Because if we don’t, our negative thoughts will drown out anything positive that has been said before.
I can be on top of the world today and ready to dig my own grave tomorrow, if I’m not careful.
Remind yourself about the good things you’ve done or have happened to you. Because if you don’t, once the worry shows up, it gets worse and worse.
#3 - Do It Afraid!
This requires you to tap into your “Who Cares Monster” and do it anyway.
What most people don’t know about me is how often I do things afraid.
I am way more introverted than most people realize. I don’t love being the center of attention on social media. I love the outcome of helping people when I speak, but speaking scares me to death.
But I do it afraid.
I will work a room. I will do my videos. And I get on stage almost daily whether I feel it or not.
I work with so many people on video content…and for many of them, they are scared to death and filled with worry about messing up or wondering what others will say or think.
This fear cripples them and they do nothing.
They are waiting until they aren’t afraid of it to actually do anything.
But it doesn’t work that way. We must do it afraid! It’s the only way to achieve anything.
I love this quote from the founder of Premier Designs…
“God didn’t take the time to make a nobody.” - Andy Horner
Do it afraid. Why? Because you were born set apart and unique. You are special. You are one of a kind. You were born for more than you see for yourself. You ARE NOT a nobody.
It’s time to stop waiting for the situations and people around us to change, and realize the change is on us.
There are monsters fighting for space in your head right this very second…which ones will you allow to win?
If this has spurred any questions or thoughts, please reach out, I’d love to talk with you. :)