Who Do You See As Unlovable?

The rowdy guy at the ticket counter. The lady that brought a screaming baby on the plane. The business person that you've referred several times and they've never returned the favor. Or, the guy that felt he needed to get to work faster and cut you off going 80 mph.

We all encounter people that if we are being honest, we have no desire to love. And if we are being more honest, they don't deserve our love anyway.

Here's the problem I've encountered with this mindset...when we create a hierarchy of who deserves what, it all ends with us losing the most.

Who do you see as unlovable?

And here's the painful question...who gave you the right to determine that? Ouch. Right? 

In my career as an entrepreneur, I've learned that I have no idea what's going on in someone's life that I can't see. They may be going through a divorce. They may have just had a death in the family. They may have just lost their job. Their dog might have died. They may have just found out that their teenage daughter is pregnant. They may have thought they were getting a tax refund, but they really owe money.

Here's what I know...when I'm in the middle of my own issues, it feels like a mountain when in reality it may be a molehill.

But if you try to tell me it's a molehill while I think it's a mountain, I'll punch you in the face! Haha.

When we get into the people business, it's hard. People suck. I suck (sometimes). But sometimes we are shocked when people act all crazy or quite frankly, we are the crazy ones. So what does this look like? How do we fix this problem we have?

Here are five simple ways to love on people better.

1. Assume the best until proven otherwise.

I do my best to always give people the benefit of the doubt. If they are late to a meeting, I don't assume they don't care or value my time. I assume that they had a family emergency or they got stuck behind a wreck. Stop working yourself up over nothing. Extend grace. Most of the time it takes more effort to fabricate a fake story, then just believing for the best.

2. Stop making everything about you.

You get so fired up and annoyed all the time because it's all about you. When it's all about you, grace goes out the window. I've waited an hour for someone that was late for our meeting. Why? Because I'm a nice person. I'm not perfect, but if all else fails, I'm nice. I value them. When you turn your eyeballs back around to see the other people, your attitude changes and the ability to love people is easier.

3. Go back in time.

Don't be quick to forget how often you were extended grace and loved on even when you were pretty "unlovable." We've all done some pretty stupid things and there was always at least one person that was willing to pick you up, dust you off and offer you a new opportunity. Pay it forward. Go be to someone else what someone else was to you. I love loving people when they think they don't deserve it. That is truly being different and set apart.

4. Be an encourager with your words.

My grandpa used to say, "If you think something nice about someone, say it. Don't keep it to yourself." Because of that, my mom has written 5 thank you notes a day for almost 20 years. How many lives has she had an impact on? How many people, when they think about my mom, think something amazing? Tons! She is changing their life one kind word at a time. 

When is the last time you encouraged someone? If the answer isn't today, you have lots of room for improvement. In a mostly negative world, go be the opposite.

5. Slow down.

We live in a world now with a "drive-thru" mentality. We are always running from thing to thing so frantic that we don't have time to love on anyone. Slow down. Enjoy the long line at Starbucks. Use that time to call an old friend and say hi. Call a co-worker and tell them they are doing a great job. Send a nice text to your spouse or significant other. Don't be in such a hurry.

And did you know this? Your day is going to happen whether you have a good attitude or a bad attitude about it. So choose a good one.

If this blog made an impact on the way you think or act, please comment and share. It would mean the world to me. Thank you! :)